The Way We Express vs. What We Express

Authors: Brendan Mooney

Abstract:

We often do not consider the quality of the way we express ourselves as being fundamental to well-being. Society focuses predominantly on what we do, not the way we do it, to our great detriment. For example, those who have experienced domestic violence often comment that it was not what was said that hurt the most but the way it was said. In other words, the quality in the way the words were used communicated far more than the actual words themselves. This is an important area of focus for practitioners who may be inclined to emphasize who said what but not bring equal, if not more, focus to the quality of one’s expression. The aim of this study is to highlight how and why the way we express ourselves is more important than what we express, which includes words and all behaviors. Given we are a sensitive species it matters to pay attention to the communication that is not said. For example, we have the ability to recognize that a person is upset or angry by the way they walk into a room, even if they do not say anything or look at anyone. Our sensitivity allows us to detect even the slightest change in another’s emotional state, irrespective of what their exterior behaviors may be exhibiting. This study will focus on the importance of recognizing the quality in the way we express as being fundamental to wellbeing, as it allows us to easily and simply navigate life and relationships without needing to experience the usual pitfalls that otherwise prevail. This research utilizes clinical experience, client observations and client feedback, and several case studies were utilized to illustrate real-life examples of the above. This study is not so much a model of life but a way of life that confirms our deepest nature, that we are incredibly sensitive and far more so than we appreciate or utilize in everyday practical human life.

Keywords: communication, integrity, quality, sensitivity, wellbeing